Last night as I was laying with Jackson trying to get him calm, I began doing the same thing I always do.... run my fingers through his hair.
As soon as I did huge clumps of his hair literally just laying in my hand. Here’s the thing ....Jackson probably won’t care about his hair. Everyone keeps saying he will look so cute bald. I know it will grow back some day. That’s not what is the hardest. What is the hardest is knowing why his hair is falling out, having it be associated with a terrible disease that I don’t even like saying out loud. Making the visual of this battle so much more real, being bald is going to make him not only be a boy with cancer but also look like one. Now when people look at him they are going to know, they are going to look at him with sad eyes, they are going to know he is fighting a battle. He no longer is just an average boy. The thought of it literally made me cry. All I want is for him to have his life back. For him to do all the things boys do!
As the day went on more and more hair continued to fall out and he was nearly bald. It was all over him and itchy. We decided to shave the rest of it off. Jackson wanted no part in it at first. But doesn’t seem to mind it now. Although he hasn’t seen it.
He gave us a few smiles that were short lived as Daddy played animals with him afterwards
We will take all the smiles we can get. Although today wasn’t a good day for him he seemed a bit better than yesterday. A glimmer of hope that maybe tomorrow will be even better 🙏🏻
We are continuing to pray for brighter days ahead. Praying that his ANC numbers continue to rise so we can go home for a few days. Praying his mouth sores and the chemo side effects subside. He is struggling with several different things right now. We are praying Macy and Colby can visit soon too!🧡
He misses them and they miss him so much 🧡
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