Day #4 of Chemo. So far he is tolerating things well. Minus being a little irritable, emotional, and tired which is to be expected. Doctors say the effects with this round is expected to hit on days 8 - 10.
Today we celebrated his birthday @ Riley’s and he is officially Six! He told everyone all week he was already Six!
The nursing staff sang happy birthday to him and brought him a gift. Daddy and Colby made the trip up after football to bring Cupcakes and love on our boy!
Last night I was flipping through the pictures of him and remembering the exact moments the pictures were taken and where we were. Some pictures made me laugh, others made me smile, some made me sad because he is growing so fast. Then it set in... my mind started racing and looking for signs of cancer in each picture. Trying to remember if I could recall if he complained that day, if he was sick around that time, if he had any bruises on him. The tears started falling as I laid holding on to Jackson. I so badly want answers that I know I will never get.
I want to know when he got cancer. What caused it? Was his life long health issues tied to Leukemia? Or is it not connected at all? How do I ensure this evil disease never comes back if I can’t have answers to these questions.
I’m sure this is part of the process and I will learn over time to stop questioning everything. But it isn’t easy.
Here’s what I do know. Cancer has no rules! Cancer doesn’t care who you are, it doesn’t care how much you love your babies!
As I laid there holding Jackson as he slept on my chest. I thanked God for his unwavering love. I thanked him for leading us to Riley’s, for giving us the best doctors and nurses. I thanked him for Jackson’s remission and for the fact that we have made it this far. I thanked God for allowing us to be by his side every single step of the way! I prayed for peace and understanding and I will continue to pray. Each day that passes I feel more at peace and I know the day will come where I am fully at peace. In the hardest season of our lives, we still have so much to be thankful for, so many blessings. Blessings that you don’t even realize until you are here and are forced to see things you don’t want to see or hear things you wish you hadn’t heard.
Today we are thankful for another day, today we celebrate our little hero for all the things.
Thank you all for the kinds words and wonderful Birthday Wishes. 🧡
#HappyBirthdayJackson #JacksonStrong #CancerSucks #Rileyschildrenhospital
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