He did it.... he is a survivor!
He is #CancerFree and it feels so good to tell him that his bones and blood are not sick anymore. To tell him we no longer have to spends months in the hospital treating his cancer. Seeing him play with his toys, go all over the house with no restrictions is such an awesome feeling.
5 + months ago I couldn’t say the word Cancer out loud. The thought of the words Leukemia or Cancer would instantly put a lump in my throat, I would choke up and my eyes would fill with tears. How is it possible that Jackson had such an awful disease.
5 + months ago this day felt like a life time away. It felt so out of reach. It felt so so far away and I wasn’t sure how we were going to get here. I know now the only way we had the physical strength to power through each day is from the mighty power of the lord, from the thousands of prayer warriors that had unshakebale faith and strength for us when we didn’t have the strength to even pray. I recall in the first month night after night with no sleep and very little food because I couldn’t bare to do either, not sure how I functioned. The truth is that being alone with your thoughts as you close your eyes was scary. My thoughts would wonder to places I wasn’t ready to let it.
Being home with the whole family brings such a calm feeling, a weight lifted, I feel like I can let my guard down a bit and relax, knowing we are all here together. It does bring on a different level anxiousness. As we are in limbo.... What’s next, how do we move on, how do I not freak out daily about him relapsing. I will continue to take it one day at a time, and we will get through this as well.
Yesterday was so bittersweet. Of course we are so thankful to be Cancer free and to never have to go through treatment ever again. But, Riley became our home, a safe place for Jackson (and us) they became friends and felt like family. I met amazing mamas. I’m going to miss standing outside of each other’s sick kids rooms visiting, sharing stories, laughing, crying, giving a hugs when it was needed.
Leaving today I couldnt help but cry for those that are still there. Still fighting their battle or just coming in for the beginning of their battle. No one should ever have to go through this. Watching you baby suffer is a new level of pain that is for sure.
The next several weeks will be busy with follow up appointments, surgery for the removal of his central line. After he is cleared he will just have to go back monthly for follow up labs to ensure he isn’t relapsing.
Friends and family with all of our hearts we thank you for every single act of kindness no matter how big or small. We appreciated every single thing that was done for us or our children through this entire journey! We know that your love and support made this journey a little easier to take on. Knowing we had so many people loving, praying, and cheering Jackson on. We will never be able to express our gratitude fully. But please know we felt, read, opened, and used all of the things sent our way! You are all such a blessing to our family and we hope we are able to be a blessing to yours as well.
We will keep you updated on his upcoming progress and of course His Hair growing back.
Much love!
Rosie Pagliai Lozano thank you for the welcome home goodies.
#CancerFree #Sayitalittlelouder #CANCERFREE #Jacksonstrong
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